Ideas for playing with limitations

topic posted Thu, July 10, 2008 - 11:07 AM by  CJ
So recently I have found out that I have phase 2 of Scoliosis as well as 4 pinched nerves in my neck and back.
Considering I love to be flogged and tied up into very interesting positions now I have to limit these things. Does anyone have any ideas as far as play when having these conditions?


Thanks!
cj
posted by:
CJ
offline CJ
SF Bay Area
  • Re: Ideas for playing with limitations

    Thu, July 10, 2008 - 11:39 PM
    this is a topic that is very near and dear to my heart.

    i had a 64 degree "s-shaped" curse to my spine and have had 3 back surgeries.
    my entire spine is fused from neck to waist. not every other vertabrae, the whole bloody thing.
    limitations you say?
    errr....has anyone see me play?

    i play my metaphysical balls off (ok ok, ovaries, whatever) i am tied into upsidedown pretzels on a regular basis.
    flogging, cat o' nine tails, whatever bondage you want to throw at me.

    now really what it comes down to it listen to your body. while i always warn people before i play with them about my back
    (like the 2 foot scar down my spine ain't a tip-off) i have found the only limitation i have is that i cant really do
    any sort of "arch" to my back so some of those super bent over backwards head touching your feet ties are not going to happen.

    other then that? foo. bring it on. i know my body well enough to not do something stupid.
    scoliosis doesn't have to be a limitation if you don't want it to.
    did this turn into a rant?
    my bad.
    PM me if you have any more questions..
    • Re: Ideas for playing with limitations

      Fri, July 11, 2008 - 12:41 AM
      Thanks I am just having a huge limitation with movement of my neck. Everything else is pretty ok. but right now I can't even turn my head to the side without wanting to scream and biting the inside of my cheek.

      But thanks for the input.
      • Re: Ideas for playing with limitations

        Fri, July 11, 2008 - 12:47 AM
        "Listen to your body" is the best advice you'll get. I have RSI issues with my hands and arms, and it's pretty easy for me to know what I should and shouldn't be doing just by paying attention to how things feel. "Bad pain" is usually pretty obvious.
    • Re: Ideas for playing with limitations

      Fri, July 11, 2008 - 7:25 PM
      I agree. you don't have to make your "disability" into a disability. There's ways around and the best way to know how to work around and use your other abilities will come to you. You are your number one person in knowing how to play. As raina said, listen to your body. It's understandable that you want suggestions, but in the long run, you'll know what to do.

      (Sorry CJ, you should know me by now. I gotta get on my soap box about disabilities.)
  • Re: Ideas for playing with limitations

    Fri, July 11, 2008 - 9:32 AM
    Just make sure you tell the Top about your limitations [I assume you only play with sensible and sensitive tops who will listen and stay within your limitations]. And if you find something that works, feel free to suggest it.

    For example, sometimes my right shoulder to wrist is bothering me from RSS, so that it's uncomfortable for my right arm to be strapped down tightly to the bondage table. I've found that if my elbow is bent and my arm is secured that way, I'm okay. I get the top to cuff my right wrist approximately over my belly button and voila, I can play.
    • Re: Ideas for playing with limitations

      Fri, July 11, 2008 - 12:16 PM
      I am not an expert on this, but I wanted to give some thoughts.

      In addition to "listen to your body," which was the advice that my doctor gave me when I came out to bdsm, she also told me to give myself time to heal from play before I played again. (This can be hard to do when you are super excited, but I've managed to finally find that balance.) Some play takes longer to heal than others. Also, eating well, exercising (if not aerobic, just stretching) and getting sleep are going to serve you well, no matter what you are doing.

      Also, as a side note, I have a friend with the worst scoliosis that I have ever seen. Her spine is so curvy, they thought she was going to die as a child, with the bones eventually crushing her lungs. She has managed to straighten her spine a LOT and even gain some height with a rigorous Iyengar yoga practice.
  • Re: Ideas for playing with limitations

    Sat, July 12, 2008 - 2:33 AM
    I would suggest consulting a kink-friendly physician (Charles Moser) on this. You want to avoid trying something that could do permanent damage. The spinal column can be pretty unforgiving. We have a neurosurgen in our family who specializes in the spine. He would welcome extra business, but you don't want him to have it. Know what I mean? This is not Dr. Moser's specialty, but I'm sure he has dealt with the question before. You can still have lots of fun. The key is to do so safely.
  • Re: Ideas for playing with limitations

    Sat, July 12, 2008 - 10:53 PM
    I hate to beat a dead horse, but like the others said, listen to your body. If there are certain positions that cause discomfort or pain, don't do them! Perhaps having you change positions more often so your body doesn't get "locked" and stress out your back and neck? Do you know what specific limitations your Scoliosis and pinched nerves will cause? I have a rotator cuff injury to my left shoulder, so I know I can't participate in certain types of bondage or positions... but I can still participate. I just have to be sure to stretch out before and after, have my left arm tied a little looser, and make sure that my head doesn't stay turned to one side or the other for long periods. The biggest limitation is that I can't do any position now where all my weight is being held with my arms... but there are still plenty more to choose from.

    I'll have to step aside regarding flogging. I love it, have no physical issues with it, and don't know enough about anatomy to make any suggestions. Sorry =(
  • Re: Ideas for playing with limitations

    Sat, July 12, 2008 - 11:56 PM
    Oh, one other thing. Although I don't much care for safewords, I'd recommend having one that means "my back is fucked and I need to get out of this position right now." "BACK!" would probably be an excellent choice. Make sure that any top you play with knows what this means and knows what to do.

    I recommend this because normal safewords don't convey any information beyond stop-- you need a second round of communication to identify the problem. A special safeword to handle this particular situation will let you expedite getting out of whatever situation is causing your body distress.

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