shhhhhh...

Hello all!

I was one of the DMs at Sedusa's Garden last night- and it was a spectacular event, thank you to the hosts for all their hard work! However during my shift I had several issues- not with people in scene, but with the others watching in the dungeon. Specifically, there was A LOT of social conversation going on (as well as several issues with cell phones etc) in the downstairs area. I hope people are all aware of the rule that there is to be no social conversation in the lower dungeon? We want to maintain the energy of the space and respect the people in scene- it is EXTREMELY disruptive to be playing and have someone in earshot talking about visiting their mom in the hospital and their new co-worker and they heard this great joke today etc. I know it is easy to forget, and when not DMing I have on occasion had the DM remind me to keep quiet- you see someone you know, and before you realize it, your socializing has gotten louder and is disruptive to the scene next to you. There are other play spaces in the SF Bay Area (Power Exchange, KS, etc) where there are no rules about this kind of thing, but at the Citadel we are trying to do something different- we want people to be able to play with intensity and not have to worry about being disrupted in this manner.

I don't mind reminding people to be quiet in the dungeon- as I said, I understand that it's easy to forget, and it's part of my job as a DM. And I am always VERY polite about it, usually approaching the people involved with a smile and a finger over my lips, whispering something like "sorry, no conversations down here!" As a DM, I understand that the purpose of having this rule is to keep scenes from being disrupted, so when I see people having a fairly quiet conversation I stand next to the closest scene to them and see if I can hear the conversation. If I can, I go and remind the people watching to keep quiet. If I can't, I let it go. That said, most of the people I reminded to be quiet downstairs at the party last night were downright nasty about it. I got glares, argument, rolled eyes, the works. Now, I understand that at some of the parties they are a bit more relaxed- when I DM'd at a women's party, for example, I was told that they're very social parties and they didn't really sweat conversations in the dungeon. I am fine with DMing that way in those situations- hell, it makes my job easier! But I think people need to understand that for other parties, the rule is no conversation downstairs. We have a whole upstairs for you to socialize in. This applies also to when the scene and aftercare are over and you are packing up toybags. Speaking loudly to your partner about where the toys go, what we're going to do after this, what kind of food is upstairs, etc within earshot of another ongoing scene is just not OK. (I understand that sometimes packing up is part of the scene, but I can tell the difference, and when in doubt I assume it's part of a scene.)

All of which is just to say, if a DM tells you to please keep it down, remember that you would probably like the observers to be quiet during your scenes and the DM is only trying to do their job and preserve the energy of the dungeon. We really appreciate you not giving us a hard time!

Thanks,

Chey
SF Citadel host and frequent DM